Death
Why can't I die?
I've tried. I actually do try ending my life but constantly my body tends to recover or protect itself from death. Overdose...... Overdose......
I even came back from death many times. Why can't I just stay dead?
Couldn't I just stay dead when I was born? Or drowned in the pool when I was a kid or just stopped breathing many times as a teenager. Why do I recover from bad fevers and other stuff? Why does my body keep pushing on?
I don't know what to do or where to go. All I know is that I'm feeling all alone. There's nothing special about me for ppl to think of. I don't have a family that is proud of me. I don't have my own family. I don't have my doggies here with me. I don't have anyone who misses me constantly. I don't have trusting reliable friends around me. I feel like I don't.
I know God answers prayers coz I remember clearly that as a child, if I prayed hard enough, he answers them. Why can't he answer this 1 prayer? I want to die. I'm ALWAYS near death but not dead and I want to die. Badly.....
posted by mya @ 11:12 pm
1 comments
1 Comments:
You are a friend of God. How can you be alone? If only you believe...
Can I challenge you to pray this prayer?
"God, you know where I'm at now, how I feel, the darkness that I endured.
If you're there God, reveal yourself to me. Show me your true-self. I want to know you personally. I want to be your friend. I want to have an intimidate relationship with you. Reveal to me the richness of your love. Fill me with your amazing graze, to know the saving works of Jesus Christ over my life.
Help my unbelieve, Lord. To know that you're always with me."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NwTSOXXrzDQ
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