Me and me alone.......

Yes... me... A word everyone uses everyday...
NOw I am a person tat can't take too much negativity... I used to be able to but my body or my mind just can't seem to take in any more.... I NEED ENCOURAGEMENT... I NEED POSITIVE THINGS!!! *sigh*
I've been going through alot of pain in the butts for tis pass month.. Wish it never happened...
At times wen i'm all recharged and happy and all so positive and ready to start a day with hope and praises, i end up falling down to the depts of the ocean.The most i can ever be happy is 30min a day.Sometimes none at all.. The moment i have dreams on improving things and getting my head up,a meteor would struck on me.
Sometimes i just wish i could just *toot* and ya tat word is DIE!!! I've always wish someone else could live rather then me.. They r ever so happy and die happy but i'm alive n i suffer...It hurts so much knowing tat i'd suffer day by day....
In moment like this i feel just awfully lost and alone.I wanna leave tis place of tragic.Sometimes i wanna scream but i can't,sometimes i wanna run-away but i can't,sometimes i juz wish i was gone but tat can't happen just yet... :)
So i suppose i'll juz wait n suffer some more till wenever...
I juz wish something very drastic would happen to me.Such as a heavy accident or wat-so-ever... I know i sound like a little kid.But tats how i feel right now...
I've been hiding my true feelings and background all my life now ijuz can't hold much longer....!!!