Negativity...

So basically I've been living in a world full of negative charge all around me.I've gone to the level where i'm resignin as youth leader.This is so not becoz the jobs too hard or stress.. I seem to think of the job as a piece of cake and challenging. But the fact tat I've been getting tons of negative feedbacks mainly frm audults. I haven heard anyone saying how i'm doing and stuff and tat really pulls me down.1st things 1st is tat my parents hav been against me doing huge stuff and so r most of my relatives and sum other audults of the church.How can u continue or even motivate the youth wen everyone is like so against u. I don't even knoe wat is rite or wrong,real or fake,true or false,sincere onot or anything... I've lost my ability of judging correctly.I've lost faith in myself, ppl around me and GOD... I've lost hope in everything and i've lost myself.Don really knoe wat to do.... I'm still sticking to dying as the solution but m too afraid of attempting it so there!!!
*sigh* I've just been horrible lately.
And to make things worse was today.Woke up tis morning wif panda eyes again.And it was my worst clarinet lesson ever.I cudn't play well n it seems s if i'm a horrible player.Not forgetting i knocked into a car.Not my car knockin into a car but ME..I wasn't carefully looking at where i was going.had a headache n stomach ache the whole day and just felt like vomittin n NO I'm NOT pregnant!!
I just dunno wat else to do...
May 'not appear' in church as well soon to cum....