what's wrong with me?

i don't understand myself. It's a miracle if anyone actually understands me.
One moment I'm scared, timid and a nobody and the next I'm confident, upfront and people can't stop bugging me. I just don't get it.....
I've decided to face my fears one by one. Starting with piercing my ear once I get back home, dying my hair purple or rather high-lighting. Go out more not forgetting to finish my assignments before that. Posture... posture... Need to fix that too. Take a chance at things. Then there's facing the dark slowwwly. I really fear it soo much I could scream. Nearly did at the con when I was in the girls toilet where it was pitch black with nobody close by. Accepting challenges. No excuses(I'll try) ;p when people don't give me a chance to speak, SPEAK anyways........
I'm doing all these coz I really need to relax myself. I'm so afraid of life and just too tense. Hence the tendonitist which suprisingly doesn't seem to really be bothering me much this week. Maybe it's coz of the exercises my teacher thought me- using gravity ;p
I need to be more confident and relaxed. I really need to change. I wanna live my dream. And I'm doing it.... I'm looking for the path that leads to popularity and stardom... ;p