Well, I just finish my chem test.... It's all worth while studying for it I think.... It was ok compared to the time I had the same test last semester.... Just hope I get a good mark for it...
Nowadays I seem to have no mood studying at all... Esp last night. Couldn't study so went walking around college and ended up sitting down with Mus and his frens talkin nonsence or rather listening to their petatic speach. I was with them for around an hour pluss...
I've been pretty down too.... Yesterday was the 1st day of the blood donation thingy... I've been waiting all my life to be able to reach the age of donating my blood and the next thing i know, I'm not qualified to donate my blood. U c, I've been going on medication and the needle thingy(i think it's called 'acupuncial'....I dunno how to spell it....) ;P And now I really feel really down and horrble just because I can't donate my blood... Stupid right?! I dunnola... I just wanna do something big. Not something to show off but somthing like this which helps other ppls life... *sigh
But maybe there's a reason for everything.... Maybe God is showing me another path.... Whatever it is I'm trying not to feel so bad about it....
I'm starting to have this feeling that my same horrible feeling is coming back... I'm starting to think loneliness, sadness and depression... STUPID!!! REALLY STUPID>>>> I'm talking about myself Esp when Valentines just around the corner.... I don't feel sad that I'm alone or anything. I mean God's my Valentine and has always been.... I shall not feel lonely or anything else just because of something stupid like that.. I mean everyday to me is just the same whether onot it's someone's birthday, Valentines or my birthday.... Maybe coz I just don't fancy this kinda things.... Through experience I know how it feels and i seem to be always getting hurt, that's y i just hate all this things and am trying to avoid it... Even with ppl around whether onot new frens or anyone. I'm scared of being hurt... I've been painfully hurt more then anyne can imagine.... But well, it's part of life and it would soon be over wen Jesus comes..... There would be no more sadness or sorrows, no more negetive things in life.... I'm just looking forward to that day where I can meet all those whom I've lost through the years esp my dearest, loving, favourite, caring grandmother of mine... I really do miss her alot since she left... I felt uncared and things like that. I've never been cared more then how she's cared for me... And not forgetting being able to meet God face to face and see his wonderful angels all around......