Another day and another night...Just wonderin wat is on my mind now.....Something seems to be bothering me but I just can't figure what.What m I to do.I mean I'm just a simple gal in a all so simple life.Sometimes I just wonder what would life be if I were somewhere else,someone else... :) Well, lets just say I'm falling into the pit again....
Health wise,am feeling better since the last attack.Better but not 100% well....Dunno but some times I just wish at times like these I had someone close with to help me through.But my only problem is I don't like bothering ppl.I just don't like being a little fragile thingy....But then again if not then nobody would actually care for me right.... :) Hmmmm....Go figure that out....!!!
Check up is later this afternoon.Am quite scared...ok ok...Am actually very scared.Wish i did my check up in the Penang hospital when i was there just last month.Then at least got Loretta,Jin and my frens wif me.My 2 cousin's will be fetching me up from church for my check up later.I suppose we are goin straight after that.I don't really talk to these cousins of mine considering our age gap is really wide and some more I'm not really close to them.I suppose i just have to go through life and just see what suprises God would give me.. ;p
I haven been thinking straight for some reason or another.Something is really botherin me but can't really figure it out.Maybe the fact that Gina would be back in sarawak later and that the fact that I'm not goin back as well even though I could have actually done so.*sigh*
I really dunno wat to do with myself.I always have problem deciding in life and in wateva thing that comes before me.I would be thinking,"what if I regret?""what if it won't work out"just"what if...." Yup thats my major problem.Even choosing a piece of paper takes up alot of decision making for me...lol... ;p
It's Sabbath and I haven really been faithful.Am not proud saying so....Just wish I could do something to lift up my spirit.But then again,these few days my mind just keeps on thinking....It just never seems to rest.Not only am i thinking of synapse and neurons and genes or numbers but then I keep thinking of life,of my frens and the future....That's bad right..it's really bad.Am trying to live the day as it is.As if it's my last day on earth for you never know I maybe no more at any time... I'm not talking nonsense here.I'm talking the fact..The fact of life and the fact that I do care for everyone I know even though they are m enemies...like what the bible says.."love ur enemy as urself" and we'll be blessed in God's name :)
Man,I can't seem to be sleeping these few days.This is really bad.Esp for my health sake and study sake...hmmm...Dad says i should take sleeping pills but i dunno.I think it's bad and dangerous.Am just trying to stay far from medication.Don't you just hate being a doctors child. ;p Talking about medication and doctors...well,there will be a blood drive in college around next week or the week after that.Just wish I could make my childhood dreams come true and actually being able to actually donate blood.Last time it's because I'm under age.Now it's because I'm not healthy enough to donate :( It's as if the whole world is against me.ok ok i'll start thinking positive now... ;p man it's hard living a life when u don't actually know who to actually look for or who to trust kinda thingy.I know, i know I've said I'm starting to trust again but it takes time.After all a leopord can't change it's skin over night.can it?At times,I just look back at all the wonderful memories and try deleting off all the negative ones.Those actually keeps me going........