Shut up!!!

Yestersay's youth meeting wen super horrible... No1 bothered listening to me which sorta made me paniced abit... No1 replied me nor did they respond... It was just horrible.I felt like screaming,i felt like running away,i felt like just shaking them all,i felt like crying..... It was totally hard.Esp wen the youth don't wish to try.They don wanna learn,they don even bother listenin to me then later saying tat i'm sum lousy person.I dunno wat else to say...
It's difficult being 2person... I encourage ppl,show my happy face,being sporting or supportive but in fact I'm the 1 tat needs all those... Sumtimes i juz don't care a damn but at times i hav to show wat me as a leader m.... I try communicationg but sum times i juz wanna be alone....I cheer ppl up but at times i'm the 1 tat need cheerin up... This like totally sucks but i dunno wat else to do.... If i be a 100% me i suppose i can be a sumbody but tat also means i won't fit in the church totally...
I deffinately have a big mouth... It seems wif me changing my character and stuff, I seem to speak without thinking and tat happens far too many times.... I saw sensible stuff most the time but it ends up back-firin... mayb coz ppl not willing to see my point or not willing to listen frm sumone like me who's not old enough(considered).... With my stupid mouth i hav sorta been bringin prob to myself n now i hav to train myself to shut my mouth most the time n keep my thoughts to myself though at times it maybe a killing thing to a person but i suppose it's for the better... After all i don't think many ppl wud like to hear wat i've gotta say now rite!??
So after tis i'll juz say less inner things of myself then wat it seems... Details wud b keep in me then being projected live by my stupid big mouth....