Maybe it's juz me

Yesterday did a sermon in church.Was actually preaching.Actually no 1 was preaching n since the whole service was under the youth, i felt responsible though not a youth leader anymore to try do sumthing for the Lord.The only prob is I only actually prepared 24 hours bef i was up there.... Darn scary n sudn't be done.But the whole thing din really go tat bad.The only thing is i came home feeling really hurt... Y?
I always expect the close frens to be around supporting me thru things or ppl to cum to my performances juz to support me but it seems tat never seems to happen to me.I found out the ppl i wanted to be there in front of me were not in sight,my cousin(bck for holiday) chit-chattin wif his wife n sum other stuff... But the suprise i got was my uncle who normally sleeps in church din actually sleep wen i started talking,the church was quieter,ppl who don't normally listen to sermons had their eyes on me(or may they juz dreamin away).... I was juz sumthing.... :)
At 1st i was super scared.Worried is more like it.But thank God for the youth who actually comforted me n Ps Francis who prayed for me.It actually touched my hurt n suprised me for the ppl that did those,i din expect them to be so encouraging towards me.Was hoping in getting it more from frens i trust n look to.At 1st i was shaking and ppl responded.I was darn scared but i let God lead me.Sooner or later it felt like i was talking to God himself.I felt like i was talkin to a very close fren... Tats wen the prob started... lol... Tats were all the 'eh' and 'leh' and 'y like tat1' came out.Lets juz say all my slang from kl came out... most of them...heheh.... :) But after everything i felt great,in a way la.... I felt sortta connect to God totally... Tat was until i started meeting ppl n shaking their hands.Sum ppl commented sum ppl they juz shoke my hand n left.Others din bother saying anything as if i din do anything at all.Sum encouraged me more saying i should do pastorin considerin how a good speaker i am.The way sum ppl said things made me wonder... "are they telling the truth?" "Y r they lying?"
I find ppl sayin my sermon was good wen most the time i find them chit-chattin.Now tat really hurt me alot but wat m i to do...
Life is like tat... I dunno wat else to see in the church.... Dunno how i feel next week.... Am hoping things wud be better for me.I juz think too much....