Thoughts

Aimlessly walking towards my room after choir last night i wondered and worried bout my music application.Confussion floods my mind.There seemed to be problem in my recording.Tat wasn't enough to fill in my thoughts n worriness.Dad passed me another letter frm Berklee(in Boston).I thought I had every mail from them.Does it mean i sud go there?I know my heart is in Jazz and learning sumthing which is sooo noot classic but unfortunately sponsorship doesn't permit me to do so so I'm stuck in a very horrible position.
Wat cud be worse is tat I don't seem to smile or talk as much as i did before.I keep quite in my own corner thinking and juz thinking.I knew coming bck here for a year wud be hell as it is.I knew I wud suffer emotionally and mentally.I knewI wudn't be able to stand the pressure.But my desicion was made and tis is where i am.Maybe it was a mistake.But if it were then I'm learning frm it.
Thinking so much and stressin so much makes me think tat maybe I'M really mentally crazy.I dunno wat else to think.No1 to turn to here.Maybe I'm not normal at all?! Maybe I'm not ment to be here at all.Maybe I was ment to suffer all the time with continues heart breaks and heart aches.
All i seek now is encouragement,support and frens to be around wif.It seems awfully dark in my part of the world.Nothing else to it.I juz need sumone to show me a clear path to my life.Nothing more.
Maybe I'm rite.I AM crazy after all.....