Not looking forward

Time passes.... and fast too...
Gonna do my recording for my music application tmr nite hopefully.I wanna get all those done bef wed. But the thing is I'm so not looking forward to it.The more i think about it the more i juz wanna stay home n do nothing.The more i don't wanna see anyone who'll make me cry again as it is.The more i wanna see my old frens who makes me laugh all the time.The more I wanna lose myself.The more i wanna die.
I can't even get myself roses which I've always wanted. *sigh* The fact tat the world feels like it's tumbling down on me.I'm grounded,hardly sleep(sister talks in her sleep and snores),starting to feel ill again n sortta feel lonely(mayb coz everyone's leaving),parens 'tembaking' me day in and day out,siblings get in my way doin.All me....
Cried pretty badly yesterday.Kept so much things in me i finally burst out yesterday.I juz dunno wat else bad cud happen.I hate August so much i can't wait till it's september.Can't wait till i'm long gone.Can't wait till i'm finally a sumboday again.Can't wait till i can actually finally post a cheery n happy post on my blog... Nothing will chance.Not for now.... And tat I'm certain.I'm not preventing it.I'm juz certain.