The Creation

Performance is this weekend. Excited as can be but also sorta disappointed. Excited is coz I love performing and hearing the crowd cheer and hearing sweet music knowing ppl enjoyed the performance. Disappointed is coz I know I don't have supporters coming to the performance to support me. Never had it anyway. Every performance I have nobody comes and watch me perform. Though I feel nice from the crowd, I still feel lost and empty knowing that there's an empty seat staring back at me. I hope yet know this will always be the case. Van's gonna come so I suppose that's alright though I wouldn't be surprise if a last minute thing would happen. Though I know ppl won't turn up in my performances, a part of me just urges myself to just invite ppl to come anyways though it's a waste of time.
*sigh*
I'm going through a face of facing my fears one by one. Friends surprisingly helping me out. 1st on fears or rather stage fright as well and then there's the trusting part and the dark and sharp objects.
3AM? They are amazing ppl. Or rather only 1 guy and a few gals has been really really nice to me; Nic, Emma, Sheyley(I think that's how u spell her name) and cousin =) Never met sincerely nice ppl in my life. And the thing is when I look into their eyes, I see that it's real. Going back to that church? Definately though I sorta love Ashfield as well(family church).
The songs are still ringing in my ears. Memorize? Sorta. I don't even practise the music and I can sing good =) Anyways I'm not expecting much. All I'm gonna do is enjoy the performance and take pictures hoping my things don't get stolen while we perform...
Surprisingly a stranger came to me and started talking to me. Next thing he asked was are you Malaysian? I was in shock.... Considering most ppl think I'm local or rather from Melbourne. This guy(a white man) came up to me as if to know I'm foreign and started talking about the weather. This senario actually made me feel visible in the world.

Btw, do you think I should cut my hair here or wait till I get home? Coz I feel like the longer my hair is, the more hair I seem to be losing. Yea... -.- you can say I'm getting bald -.-!!!!