my heart aches

*sigh*
the only thing i seem to be doing alot this week.
Depression, sadness, frustration....
I don't even think you read this.

To think or have that feeling hurts.
it hurts so much that i feel like crying.
To keep it a secret is a sin,
but yet to let the world know seems wrong.
maybe the weather is getting to me
or maybe it's how i've been feeling all along.
maybe it's the months i totally dislike(July and August)
or maybe my mind is just playing tricks on me.

Missing so much.
Those times when we would talk late nights
speeding home hoping to be home by midnight.
missing the sound of comfort
missing the warmth feeling
missing the thought of things.

waiting and hoping....
something i shouldn't have done
needing to be proven
instead of believing words.
What's wrong with me.

No mood to talk to people I usually talk to.
Wanting to be alone yet wanting company.
Forcing a smile
drowning myself in practising.
hurting myself in doing so....

And the world continues to spin around.....