A-new

Thanks you all for all the encouragement and cheer-ups (=
Haven been blogging for ages and I suppose I was just so fed up with everything.

I'm trying to turn a new leaf. Trying to look ahead of a storm and trying to reach the dreams I have been having for my future. My family may not feel like my family but there are still mine. Life may not be unfair many times for my case but there ARE blessings in diguise.

Yesterday was in a car crash with cousin driving. I got out of the car in shock and i froze. At that moment, i thought i was in a worse condition then my cousin. 1st thing that came into my mind was my left arm. After having the 1st accident before i came here, it sort of put my arm/wrist in a difficult position. I was thinking she should be checking if I were ok. Everything was about me. I just stood at the side of the road not knowing what to say or do. I looked over to the other car she'd knocked. They came over and the guy was on the phone. I was thinking that my cousin should be the one to go over to the car she'd knocked. It was like everyone was wrong, I'm the innocent one and everything was about me as if I was the important one.
Then after hearing the guy talking on the phone calling the ambulance coz he's mum is hurt, I snapped back to reality. I asked to see if the other party was ok then I ran over to their car to check. I totally forgot about my arm and I was much more concerned about everyone else's being. Called up my medical fren who was still at church place and hoped that she'll be ok. After settling everyone, I started feeling my arm hurting really badly. I went back to get my bandage and checked on my cousin. Medical ppl and the police soon came. Everybody was checked except me. For some reason they didn't think I was part of it.
Fren came over to masage my shoulders. She massaged quite softly but I felt incredible pain. That made me worry even more. Soon realizing that I was part of the accident, friends ask if I were ok. With all the questions and me trying to answer, I just started crying. The pain made it worse. I don't mind dying and all but suffering in pain from something is too much for me.
A few days ago I went to see my doctor. My bronchitis has returned, my trembling worsen, my throat in pain(I can barely talk and sing without feeling pain) and she says I might have tonsilitis. My heart sank to know hear it. My voice is my everything. With my hands in bad condition, I relly mostly on my voice. I love my voice and it's my soul.
Going bck to the accident. Soon everything was sort of settled. Everyone went home. I started feeling my whole body in pain it's as if someone HUGE and FAT had leaped from above and landed on me.
But life isn't all about me..... It's about making a difference in life. I wished I've followed my instinct and not follow my cousin home but in a way I was there so that she wouldn't have faced it alone. At least I didn't break an arm or had cuts or broken body parts. At least everyone was ok. A lesson to learn and a curse to put on the person that cursed me to be in an accident AGAIN..... ;p hahah
Well, that's about the latest news from me.