English funeral

Uncle I'm staying with passed away last week on wednesday night around 7pm aussie time. Somehow that day I felt weird. Like something was pulling my spirit back home. Was suppose to stay back after uni and practice a few hours but felt like I should be home. Cousin called me out for dinner but felt like I HAD to be home. Had a bad headache so had shower. After finishing, aunt shout out for me. I was like "shit, shit... this doesn't feel right". To find aunty crying and uncle dead. I sorta panic abit. Called a few ppl, ran over to the neighbour, called my cousins and called mum. Came home and tried making things ok. After settling everyone down with a cup of tea, answering doorbells, phones and stuff, I walked into my room and somehow started crying. Everyone was up late. Don't think anyone had a good sleep.
Today was the funeral. I had ppl telling me "You don't have to be strong" "It's ok to cry". Friends said I seem quieter in uni, sister says I'm 'heart broken' seeing me after my last uncle's funeral a few months ago and kept trembling badly. Glad he died when he had to. Before that was when my major assignments were due and after would be exam period. Plus it was my aunt's bday on sat.
Was asked to take photos. I didn't wanna do it. The last funeral I was asked to do it but I couldn't bring myself to do it and ended up giving the job to my sis.
At the cemetery, a number of ppl came. The place was huge. One of the biggest cemeteries I've ever seen and we were fetched in a brand new car being driven by a driver. In the cemetery, it wasn't just for catholics. As we drove past, we saw the Islamic parts, Vietnamese, Greek Orthodox, lawn area, tiny mansions and I bet a few more others which we didn't see. It was amazing. It was a massive place and was kept in perfect order. I was impressed.
Back to the ceremony. I found myself crying pretty bad. Or rather started tearing pretty bad. I suppose before in the last funeral I had no time to cry. Parents was away in business trip, had a fight with my parents that morning, was driving and had to look after the family. But today I had time to let my mind wonder off and reach into my inner feelings, breaking the barrier that has always been blocking my true feelings. Was sweet of a few church ppl to come. They were the only ppl that noticed I was there in tears and gave me hugs at that moment. Which brought me to sob even more. The more I talked, the more tears trickled down my cheeks.
I seem to be emotionally sensitive. Looking back, it was when I met R. I was always this strong girl, tom-boy, keeping things together, being there for everyone and making sure things are right and stuff. But since then, I'm a girl again. I don't hold hard onto my feelings and hide my pain as much as i used to. I finally feel lighter then I ever was. I don't have to be strong all the time. I can't. I may look and act it but I'm not. I may seem ok but I'm not. And I'm glad the shell I was in is finally broken.
But I suppose we just have to move on. Exams coming up and I have to pull myself together. Had drinks after the funeral, good chat and laugh with my good cousin, ate(hope it wasn't pork i ate) and a few more hugs from uncle's god children and their parents. And had a nice cold walk back home.
Life goes on. You may love someone, miss them tremendously, think of them, get angry with them have arguments and all but it's all out of love and there will be a time were you'll meet. "with death, do us part" but in heaven or after life, we shall reunite.