So why am i a loner?

A question I keep asking myself. Friendster, myspace, facebook, blog, emails, sms, handphones.... Most of the time quiet. I don't even hear from people I call friends unless they need help or they want something or they just want to use me.
So where are those people I call friends? I dunno. It's sad to think of it. My handphone silent most the time (I don't even know why i have it anymore), emails and friendster quiet and empty but full of stupid forwarded emails. Even on msn, it's as quiet as a mouse unless i put either a suicidal msg or put a weird pic.
I'm home most the time and have no one to chill with when i just need the company or need to have fun with. I miss my dog, my grandma, god sisters, a special someone..... *sigh*
I dunno. I'm so confuse with everything I wish I could just sleep and not wake up. My emotions and thoughts are a mess. Even my speech and writings are getting worse. Although I must admit, my music HAS improved heaps.
I find myself talking to myself, wondering if I should stay open to my peers or close up again as I was in my teenage life. Should I continue controlling myself, pulling myself back or do I just let myself go and blend into the world? Do I please ppl or do I do what I want for myself?
I'm sooo tired. Tired of being nothing. Although a preacher from church last week was saying "We feel empty when we have not found God."
I'm clueless and lost in the sea of music.... Please help find me or lead me to shore....