this terrible feeling
I haven't been able to sleep since thursday night. Actually since last week but after thursday it's been worse. I feel free yet I feel alone. Even though I know I can count on Lady D and dael, I still feel lost. It's like I'm missing a hug or missing a duet partner. I've stopped writing music since I was inspired to write once I got back here. I haven't touch my piano since the exam and I'm longing to sing my heart out and jazz up my life but nobody contacts me and my band members are pulling out. I have never even jammed with musicians and I'm a musician myself. How sad can that be?
Today's choir, I didn't have the mood to take over but I've promised to do so. I just wanna sing. If not alone then with someone but nobody wants to share my tune.
I so want to go to the states. I feel like that's where my calling is. I feel like I'll find ppl who'd want to finally jam and jazz with me. That finally I can sing out and ppl will look up to me. In aussie is where ppl noticed my voice without me knowing it but in kch it's like ppl says 'what the heck'. I don't hear ppl say anything about my voice here but I get random ppl comment about my voice overseas. Hard to believe but it's true.
Makes me sooo want to go back to aussie. Going to the states would make things more interesting. I can just picture my life there. It will definitely match up to my mind and standards.
I WANT TO SING SOO BADLY. I WANT TO JAM. I DON'T CARE WITH WHO. I JUST NEED TO JAMMM.....
posted by mya @ 10:27 pm
2 comments
2 Comments:
Maybe it's just this Asian psyche. Everytime after church, we would be in a rush to leave for home in order to avoid the traffic jam. But here, after church I would walk over to the band, pay some compliments, shake some hands, then leave. Sometimes people do appreaciate, they just don't express their emotion.
I'm sure you're a great singer. You know what? I've got some friends who play drums and guitars in Kuching, I'll introduce them to you next time. Maybe I'll pick up some instruments too then we can JAMMMMM all we like!
I'm not really interested in church performance. That's why I wanna do jazz and I wanna jam. Parents actually don't like what I do. They say I should just stay to church singing. But I can't stand being in the shadows and having ppl looking down at me. That's why I've decided to give performing outside a go.
hmmm....
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