Death!!!

I opened my eyes to see it bright.It was already 7am.Felt like taking a shower then head back to bed.Can't help but wake up early all the time.Wondered how today would be like.Hmmm... It was Jus' birthday and had to send my relative to the airport.Not forgetting settle my payment for Sydney U and pick up my pay....
Heard noises outside my room so open to hear what the noise was all about realising that mum was on the phone i went back to bed.I was about to dose off to dream world when I heard it.... "When is her funeral...?" That woke me up.Soon realising another person whom i loved who actually cared about me has finally died.My heart beat races and i felt stoned for that moment.She was 1 of my maid who really took really good care of me.I loved her dearly and called her everytime i saw her.She was finally resting peacefully.She had breast cancer which evantually spread to her brain and other part of her body.Her husband was also in a dying state and they still had a 12year old adopted child.
I didn't know what to think.I hated that feeling.I find myself wishing it was me which is dead instead.I've always wish that.... That I would die instead of the person that has actually departed.I felt like they deserve another chance to explore this world and make a difference.I've no use to stay longer here.They would have more time with their love ones.
I promised myself I'll visit her when I have the time soon realising i should have done it sooner.The last time i saw her,she cried when she saw me and insisted i sit next to her while the other church members sang to her and talked to her.She loved me and my family dearly.And I'll really miss her.Miss the times she would panic and rush to me when she thinks I'm sad or crying or alone.I'll miss her long hair she kept;telling me that it represents beauty.I'll miss those days.....I'll miss her....
*sigh*But i suppose looking at the bright side she did made a difference in me.She thought me how to iron and wash up.She thought me how to be strong in certain situation.She thought me that God is a wonderful thing in ones life.That everything is ok and that we should be who we are...