Shall we dance...

That was 1 of my exam pieces... Had my singing exam today.I didn't feel all that nervous and stuff till a few minutes before my actual exam.I always seem to have that problem.Stage fright or that matter being up front trying to impress someone.Or maybe it's just the big space and the echo from the music i make.I used to feel really nervous before even weeks before my exam.Now it's ok but still i only start to panic minutes before the actual occasion.Arrgghhh!!! I can't stand it.I was so scared I screwed my singing exercise(no scales for singing)... My music was ok but my ear test was a bummer....The lady before me did the same grade 5 singing exam but her ear test was much easier then mine which is just so so unfair. Arrgghhh!!! I know I'll pass though but dunno wat grading he'll give me.Or maybe it's because of the supervisor who can't seem to shut his mouth.He told the examiner that I'm the daughter of my mum...Maybe that's why he gave me a more difficult ear test. I was so nervous I could hear my voice tremmerr.... My feet were stable for the 1st time but I could feel my throat tighten...What the heck... It's over.
But this morning I sorta suprised myself.Was practising my songs with mum and for the 1st time I sang confidantly.Noramlly I wouldn't sing confident esp with her around but i sorta gave it my heart.Gave it my all.. I felt prepared.It was a real pleasant feeling... =)
Now that was the day...
Tonight I just found out that i wasn't accepted into music education. *sniff* =( I feel real hurt.I knew i wudn't get accepted.Coz once being interviewed I always seem to screw things up.So i suppose I deserved it.The fella told me that I could try to reapply next year then they can transfer my credits...So I'll definately try again next year.I wanna specialise in sumthing rather then doing music just in general.
My cousin who is a music graduate has been discouraging me in doing music.I feel so hurt everytime we talk about music.Not only her but my mum also seems to be discouraging me.My cousin says I look more like a japanese model then a musician.She keeps telling me to do modeling.She and my aunty says i look like a Hong Kong movie star.Not to mention they say the pay is better then doing music.
*sigh*
I'm still gonna do music no matter what.... If modeling also who would want me?Not like anyone would take me in.I'll definately fail the interview... =(