... and I'm still not asleep

Though it has been a long day for me and even though I've juz wrote in a few hours ago,I still can't sleep.
Am now downstairs on the couch hoping that someone online would chat with me and make me feel better.What my dad said just now to me really stung me real bad.Aside from fingers shaking,head spinning and tears forming I just can't get hurt off me.Now I'm back in the slump.Watched charmed ones on telly.Made me wonder if I'm actually really any good at anything.Considering how my dad sees me.I can't see myself as a star.I can't see myself owning my own music album.I can't see myself on stage being not only great but wonderful.All I see is a girl easily hurt as fragile as can be staring from the stage crying on her knees with both hands at her ears; shouting for silence.
I can easily end up in the nut house.I've felt that really strongly.But somethings holds me sane.As my mind runs,my fingers write better then my mouth speaks.Just give me 10 papers and I can write down my whole thoughts,my mind.But give me 10 minutes to talk and there would be empty spaces left.
Y m i writing this?It's merely coz I can't sleep.I need to cheer up.I wanna get outta house and chill but that's not possible.Not with my parents being at home.Where else can I find silence but my laptop.
A child sees the world in wonders in angelic ways with high hopes and dreams with keeps them youthful.They know not the difference between right and wrong or good and bad.I've pass that stage and am entering into the world of knowledge and misery.I've lost my childhood days though at times I wish for it instead of knowing the truth of the world.Instead of seeing the truth.Instead of fighting for freedom like a bear in it's cage.
I just wanna get outta misery and fly again.Fly into the world of hopefulness and light.Into a place of happiness and courage.
I don't wanna be scared no more......