anti-social

That's what I've been feeling this whole week. I seem to be avoiding every human around. In no mood to talk to anyone. Or rather I just feel like telling someone everything. I dunno. A few guys have asked me out this week but I turned every single one down. I have no mood to pretend being happy when I'm not and was just in no mood to talk. I don't even feel like going to church this weekend but choir might do me good. Besides, I have a feeling the youth have something for me =)
The week? Sucky. Considering I didn't work this month, I've no spending money so am practically broke. Frustrating considering parents were at my neck. Horrible considering I've been crying practically everyday. Hurtful considering how the world isn't working with me. Tiring considering the amount of things I have to do.
Conclusion = I'm mad with everyone. I'm mad with nature. I'm mad with the world. I'm mad with myself.
Equation of the sum.... ;p (joking) sorta miss mathes.
Anyways.... It's like the only time my face actually lids up is when I'm with music. Only then do I start having more hope in future and in life. I feel better when I sing. I feel like acting. Like doing theater(which unfortunately my dad would consider that sinful). It's the only time I feel free and feel superb. That's the only way I can feel happy even though at times the choir may go out alot of times or I'm sight-reading a new piece. It's not like I'm allowed out at night. It's not like I have alot of free time. And right now I can't get out of the house. The car no petrol so I'm stuck till mum's back from golf.
I can't wait till tonight. It's the only night I'm not exactly disturbed. It's the time where I just waste my time trying to forget the whole week. It's the time I recharge and go blank. It's the time I feel free.....