Today?

Not as great as predicted.In fact it was horrible though not as bad as last week.
Woke up late,rushed breakfast,more expensive ticket,late train,got off wrong station,late for concert practise.That was the whole morning.After concert practise i went to settle stuff which finally is cleared.But found out that wed I've no lunch break at all so skipped lunch again which I shouldn't have.Coz class at 1pm required singing and I didn't sing all too well coz I was hungry and tired.Classes seem to be more fun then back home but then mixing with ppl is definately a problem.I realise that it's because I don't seem to put effort in making friends *sigh* I just couldn't care less.I do have friends but they are just the hi,bye kinda friends.Not 1 where I'll hang out with or contact.There is this chinese china guy though.Seem to be meeting him everyday and walk together to the train station.At least it's not that bad though he's doing diploma at least the Indian fella doesn't bother me.He seemed to keep a distant from me today.. =) I suppose he finally got the hint.
Afternoon was ok i suppose.Piano was still bad though not as bad as last week.There was this fly flying around the room which bothered my playing but I still don't play the way i do during practise.Suprisingly me and my teacher had a friendly chat.She suddenly said I should have a positive thinking as if to know I'm negative.That really caught me off guard.I told her that I've had family problem and have not been myself.Kept me thinking the whole way home.esp my music lesson.Anyways,i got my music books from the library which was a pain and got home with my buddy fren.. =)
Problem?The moment I got home,uncle said neighbours complained that my piano playing is disturbing them at night.I couldn't help but play longer last night coz I was stressed.Now I have to practise before 8pm.Wanna scream but can't.
Not suppose to have class tomorrow but considering my clashing classes,i had to drop and pick up subject.So tomorrow I got choir.I think I'll leave early to practise in uni.(And to think I thought those ppl there were freaks when they practise there during their free hours...)
*sigh*
Oh wells.I think I won't be resting till weekend.Better be off to practise now.Got alot to do.Then later I have to get my own dinner and finish my unfinished tutorials this week and for next week.
So in conclusion,I've still not recovered.In fact,I find myself realising how I hope that a car will hit me hard which would kill me or I'll go brain dead or something.I'm just so sick of worrying about tomorrow.I know I shouldn't but I just can't help it.I've been this way since young.Fear,worry,pain...It's all in one package.Now that IS my talent.Can't wait till I really get friends here.I know it takes time but being the only Malaysian totally sucks.Esp knowing you have friends in the same country but on the other state.Totally extremely sucks.
Anyways,from all my dissapointments and negative atmosphere,I think I'll drown myself with my piano.
~musing out~