It's been some moment

Talking to the pastor and getting mails from some of u guys about my problems and blog is really something.Thanks u all...
Some of u would not have imagine a person like me would have even had a hard time with life.To even think I could have gone crazy long time ago is something.I realise I'm a really strong person.Actually that's what some of u have been telling me.Being fragile at heart but yet strong is something.I don't even know how I survived all those horrible moment and still live up standing.
Please leave out the detail that I'm pretty.I hate it sooo much.I know I have the looks but there are other ppl out there prettier then me and I don't need to be reminded of myself.My life has been really complicating.There are plenty more other burden from the past which most of u know of.I'm slowly improving myself.
Pavel(church pr) is right.I should over come my fear of performance by not bothering what ppl think of my playing.Play free and be free.I'm still trying on that.Can't help it when my legs and fingers start trembling.Life is rewarding in it's way.But it only comes in small bits and pieces.He's also right about the fact that I have to get more accomplishments to delete out the failure part of life.Wonder where I'll find enough accomplishments to forget my fears.
I just need to get friends to hang out with.I feel like I should be out there having fun and laughing instead of being stuck at home.I don't really dare go out by myself.esp during the night.It can be really dark outside.I can't even practise now coz uncle is home.Which brings to the fact of the pastor helping me really fast in church.I can practise in church now.They are getting me a church key.And 2 women approached me asking me to join them to form a trio girls group.So that is something to look forward to.He did invite me to his home but I think right now I'm just too busy fitting in and making sure I'm ok with my studies and performance.Maybe next time.
Can't wait for the future.Wonder what interesting moments would come up(hmm...Pavel was talking about special moments in his sermon today)....
Btw,thanks Qing on the free trip the the camp in melb this easter.I'm still in shock.Can't believe you did that behind my back though.Gonna kill u wen i get to melb.. ;p Was suppose to play the piano for some special easter program in ashfield which I promised to help long before u got the stuff done.Feel kinda bad about having to cancel.But oh wells... Hope the camp is as good as what you and Joel have been saying =)