Kuching

Not a place I wanna be
Not a place I'm proud of
Not a place I love
Definately not a place for ppl with dreams.
Been bck home for more then a month. Things turn out as expected surprisingly. Raining almost every day. Floods occurring. A few years back I'd be devastated. I'd think of ways to help out those poor ppl and I'd pray for them. Now(today)? I'd say "serve them right." "Things happen." "So what." "You think that's suffering? At least things didn't go worse" or "what are those idiots complaining about?" I couldn't care less.....
Yesterday I went bck to my dads home town---> Serian. I didn't even know me and mum used to stay at the doctors quarters when he was still working in the hospital there. Sweet memories? No way. Visited the clinic. Nurses were nice and all. Like duh.. they work for MY dad. Visited my uncle's farm. Fell in love with their puppies. Too bad I couldn't bring them home. Wen to ranchang(however u spell the freaking place). Love the feeling of nature(not including the bugs). Made me think. There ARE places to go here in Borneo. It juz totally depends who you go with, when you go and where you go. I'm still looking forward to going to Borneo heights, wildlifes and those clear bug-free rivers :)

Dunno what to expect this year. Can't wait for lyn to come over syd. Miss u deary. Hoping my lady Di would survive another year. CAn't wait to meet up with my aunt and cousin which I haven seen in almost 15 years.
Met my primary school teacher. She didn't recognize me at all. I had to tell her I'm Lorraine CHAI. :D I wouldn't blain her for being totally surprised. I know I changed ALOT from when I was younger. I used to be one of the only students to be failing science. Funny thing is I ended up acing in secondary school. I used to be extremely introvert, extremely quiet, extremely lonely and extremely anything sad.lol.My appearance changed as well. Used to look like a geeky student with the glasses and the pony tail, scary serious look and god knows what. Can't bare to think that was me. Have I regreted changing? Definately not. I prefer the me now then the me then. Although I still hate the fact that I'm me....
It's confusing I know. But that's how it is.

Happy New Year

Happy New Year everyone....
So much for year 2006. 2007? I dunno what to think. No difference....
Performance last month was a drag. Performing week after week. The only difference there is I perform with more confidence then i used to but I can't seem to bring myself to look at the audience. Performing in Malaysia is worse. I was sweating like crazy. No joke. Mistakes made and stuff but what the heck. Not like the ppl listening even care. Dad for once suddenly said I sang very well compared to last time. Felt like slapping him. The difference between then and now is that then I never had encouragement while as now at least I know I have the voice and I'm much more confident performing.

Malaysia?
Ppl here seem rude or maybe it's just me. Nothing much here. At least kl there was sumthing. Met friends and stuff and had fun. Love those guys (= But here in Kuching I feel so invinsible, so ignored, so stupid and dumb. Nothing for me here esp when I'm with my family. I need to get out of the house but how? Not like anyone calls me here in Kuching to go out for a drink or sumthing. It's like a dead town as usual. At least in kl or aussie there are 'friend's'.

Anyways. Off with the old and in with the new right? I'm just wondering what will happen this year for me. Fingers are always kept crossed.... (=