one heart

Wrote this song for my cousin.
But it's not the best performance since I sang with a full stomach right after 5 dishes.

singing in melb

Last weekend I was in melb for 1 of my cousins wedding. It was an extremely busy weekend since the week before I hardly slept having to finish assignments which were due.
I had to sing during the wedding service 'Pie Jesu' with life string trio. The only problem was these players only want to rehearse right before the wedding which is so unprofessional and they're not even professional yet. Only students and they were already acting so uptight. I had to act tough and act like I'm as good as them or even better even though I didn't felt confident.
I rehearsed once and went through it a couple more times before I had to get to my post ushering at the door.
Sang the song and surprisinly my voice went smoothly. Late on most of the ppl tat attended the service came over and said I have a beautiful voice and I sang wonderfully. I wasn't quite expecting it. After all I seldom get comments like those and I'm never confident with myself. So that day was good besides it being a perfect day in melb for a wedding (melb has 4 seasons in a day-seriously).
Night time at the reception, I sang again but this time it was a surprise. I wrote the song and decided to give it a go instead of keeping it to myself even though I'm not confident about it. A couple of ppl asked if I was singing again. I noded but asked them to shush since it was a surprise but a lady was pretty noisy later on realizing she had to shut up. but the surprise was good. The song was about the couple and when I sang it, they seemed to know it was about them which made me feel happy.
When I started singing, the waiters in the restaurant all came out. They even called out the other waiters and workers from the kitchen to come out and see and listen to me. The other guest in the restaurant had their eyes on me. Everyone had their attention towards me. I was prepared for the ppl who was attending the wedding but not everyone else so legs started trembling and since I sang after food, I was full and didn't sing as good as I wanted to present it but some ppl said I did good although I wasn't too happy on how I did. I think I was too full...
I'll post the song on the next post and the lyrics when I'm free. Too many things to do.
But yea, I practically became famous within a day. Ppl knew my name just because I sang. People knew who I was those that heard and saw me sing. Ppl loved my singing. And it made me love it. Love the feeling which felt like a drug to me. I want more of it. I want to sing more. I wanna go through all my fears of stage and just sing out.
I AM improving but just bit by bit.

I'm 'VERY GOOD'

Had a bad headache the whole day and was taking panadol like candy to minimize the pain. With the cough, it doesn't help it further.
Was teaching the whole morning non stop. Teaching violin to little primary school kids. They love me, their lesson and I love kids and teaching them IS a challenge - ALWAYS.
In the late afternoon I went for my jazz singing lesson. It was one of my BEST jazz lesson. Teacher was really happy with me today. She told me how happy she was and you could really see it in her eyes and expression which was super for me =) Finally I'm breaking off my shell and actually enjoying jazz freely and slowly.... So that was good. Got her to give me a new song to learn which I don't know. I've been doing new songs every week but since I wouldn't be in for a next lesson for the next 2 weeks I thought I might do something I've never heard off before -'No more blues'. So that already put a smile on my face and took my mind off my headache and stress and worries of my life.
Then on the way home I decided to call up my student's parents to cancel next weeks' lesson since I would still be in melb after my cousin's wedding. Called them up and talked to them awhile letting know about their child. But I wasn't expecting to hear what I heard. It wasn't 'you're a good teacher' but 'you're a VERY good teacher. I love the method you use to teach my child. I like the book you made for them (I made each child a book which I should have charged more from all the hard work, time and planning I put into it) My child has really improved. I'm very happy with what you've done with my child'. All of those all at one go from ALL parents. I was speechless and didn't know what to say. By the 4th parent, I managed to say 'oh... thanks?' I never knew I could REALLY make a difference. And to think, this was all me. Not much help. All improvisation teaching and all.
Wow... I'm still shocked and letting it all sink in. Too much for me to handle. And I'm a new teacher in Sydney. Some more, violin is my 2nd instrument. I've been teaching piano for ages in Malaysia but only really done serious violin and clarinet teaching here.
Wow.......

Depression strikes

I tremendously fast mood swings. The weird thing is I'd be bright, happy and chatty with company of friends or any human contact but the moment I'm back home, I'm depress as ever. I can't stand these mood swings. Makes me hate being a woman.
Neighbor got kicked out of their house from the looks of it. There were cops and the lock smith all over their house. The only thing bugging me is that their 3 lovely fluffy dogs were left behind. They look like my Diana but fluffier and 1 is smaller and skinnier. Makes me miss my little girl so much I'd do anything to be with her. She's my little baby, my angel, my companion. At these times I'm alone at home makes me wish I had a pet. Tried wanting to go over my friends place to see and play with his new kitten but from what happened the last time I think he's a little scared of being too horny with me around. Lol..... He DID mention it once so I'm not gonna push it just for a company or to play with his kitten.
*sigh* I just wish I could be happier and stay that way. Maybe women suffer from depression more then men. Maybe depression runs in the family. Maybe I just need a bestfriend - a dependable friend who'll ACTUALLY be there and mean something to me.
*sigh*