Carmina Burana

aka. the banana song =D (I swear the title sounds like banana)
It was great. Audience was 3X as much as monday but made me feel great. Instruments were better in tuned then rehearsals. Love the upbeat of the piece and all. I suppose thanks to the beer add, it got ppl interested to hear the original piece. Cousin and a church fren came which was sweet. Love them to bits. They enjoyed it as much as i enjoyed performing it.
The more I sing out, the more I hear ppl next to me telling me that my voice is good. The problem is I don't like my voice. It sounds operatically strong but what I want is stage, musical voice. Not the opera. Can't to think of it, the more I have been singing, the more I see myself as a singer rather then a pianist. Even my dressing and the way I am out there is different. I LOVE singing and have always love it. But the only problem is I'm not happy with my voice. Everyone who have heard me sang would think otherwise but I dunno. I'll judge myself again after I've actually sang a contemporary piece instead of the old boring ones. Getting quite bitchy as well, as most singers are anyways. Hmmm.... Don't understand how you turn into a singer but I'm definitely turning into one. I don't mind singing in public as long as you give me a piece to sing.
And since I've been singing and stopped my violin and clarinet, my pitch has been getting pretty sensitive. And I seem to be turning into one of those perfect pitch ppl. Bad? Good? I dunno. Bad in a way.
But going back to Carmina Burana, it was awesome. I felt so light and happy after that. Could feel myself being part of the music even though I don't understand the words(it's German). And not bad for a person who has been sight reading and done the piece in 2 weeks. Especially it being in a foreign language. Truth is, I'm surprise with myself. Wish I understand the words though.
But funny thing is when you look at the choir, those at the back row have no idea how to sing the piece while those in front are those that work on the piece. And the thing is if you look carefully, it's like the choir is being graded. The lousier you are, the further behind you are at. I sorta squeeze myself at the 2nd row. I'm not confident(enough on this piece) to stand front and I hate standing back. Love to see the guys sing. Especially the tenors(voice majors). Somehow singers catch more of my attention then anyone else. Like to see the way the sing. You can see that they love singing and I juz love the way they bring themselves around with confidence. Female singers mostly look bitchy(although most aren't).
Can't wait till the next performance. Too bad, I'll have to wait till next semester.
Then again, Chamber choir is performing again to be recorded during exam week. Bummer. Loads to stress.

Chamber choir

Thanks to lyn I'm in chamber choir and tonight was my 1st chamber choir performance. Performance was awesome and dull in a way. As usual the crowd was supportive yet the hall was half empty which was depressing. Nobody in which i invited came as usual except sweet old james and amy and her family. We had the baroque orchestra perform with us. Btw, I can't stand baroque sounds. Rehearsals were torture considering I have sensitive pitch(I'm not perfect pitch although training to be 1) but thank God performance pitch was bearable. Although the main alto solo(who isn't a singer) was very flat all the way which was painful to my ear.
During the performance I started thinking about being on stage alone and all. In a way I was disappointed coz I wasn't chosen to sing solos and nobody noticed me but then again maybe it means I'm not ready to stand up front and sing out loud yet. Maybe I need to learn to be humble and be considered about other ppl. There were a few terrible alto solo parts but I suppose I can't really say much.
Can't say it's over though. Another performance with the big choir(chamber choir helping out big choir). We are singing Carmina Burana. But I call it the 'banana song' =D Some how I can't say the name and the word banana always comes to mind ;p The piece is really interesting. Going to tape it performance. I hope there is someone i know in the audience who would record it for me. I missed out tonight's performance and didn't get any pictures taken. Damn.
I love performing. Just wish I was given the chance to be up front singing my heart out.
I'm turning more into a singer then a pianist. Acting like one and I'm starting to dress like one. Hmmm..... And yes, you can more or less tell what a person's good instruments are. I can anyways.

1st choir accompaniment

The truth says I'm not a very good accompanist. That's the past though. Accompanying my mum on the piano, a few singers and instrumentalist. It was hard. I tend to go my speed and the practicing and all. I just tend to stop or pause or make obvious mistakes.
Here I've been asked to accompany many of the major performance players at the con. For performance, competition, exams. I refused their offer though. I didn't wanna ruin their performance and I know there are better accompanist out there. I just don't have the confidence.
But yesterday it was more of a force to play with the church choir for the 1st time. It was like a little force last year to sing the solo part with them. I suppose I'm glad they did it. I had to sight read 2 pieces and it was going quite fast with the middle section of the piece always being the hardest part with large chords and notes spread apart. I must say, it wasn't that bad at all. Made mistakes that's for sure but I put in a few extra notes(my own), improvised(mostly when I'm lost) and just kept counting ;p It was fun to hear, count and play all the same time. Feeling the rhythm and just losing myself to the music. I didn't worry and wasn't nervous(that's new). I just played my best and waited till the rehearsals were finish.
Lost my voice by the end of the day talking(i can't stand being super quiet. it's just not me).
2 major choir performance coming up in 2 weeks time. Confident with the chamber choir but I still haven't looked at the pieces for big choir(chamber choir is helping out the big choir in their performance). I know I'm not suppose to sing or maybe just doing my practice singing lessons will do and might have to wear a sign saying "I'm not anti-social. I just can't talk"

Throat

Is in terrible condition. Vocal chords are in terrible condition. Went to see the specialist(3 doctors) and found the problem. Kinda depressed about it now considering my voice is my soul. They put a small camera through my nose to see my vocal chords. It was red and tight. I think it looked kinda swelled slightly from the coughing and clearing throat.
Here are advises from the specialist I saw.This is what I'm suppose to avoid,
1. chilli & spices
2. red meat
3. tomatoes
4. pastry
5. fatty food
6. alcohol
7. tobacco
8. carbonated drinks
9. caffeine

and this is what I'm suppose to do,
1. avoid coughing and clearing throat
2. elevate head of the bed with telephone book or brick
3. avoid overeating and excess weight
4. leave 3 hours between eating and bedtime/ don't go to bed with a full stomach
5. limit talking/singing
7. avoid using voice continuously for long period of time
8. Don't smoke(no problem with that). Avoid other people's smoke(that's a problem)
9. Don't make strange noises with your voice(animal voice) or forced whisper
10. Avoid prolonged periods of loud talking, screaming or shouting
11. keep voice box well hydrated
12. sing parts appropriate for singing range
13. reduce stress(that's a problem but what does that got to do with anything)
14. ensure breathing through nose
15. maintain overall good health (another problem), plenty sleep and regular exercise(lol. need help here)
16. being a performer, warm up and warm down

*sigh*

I wanna sing. I need to sing. The voice counselor said my voice sounded soprano and was surprised i was singing alto in choir.
Told my choir conductor about my problem. He said "You should be in soprano." I told him he said my voice was better in alto and he was puzzled. All he said was "Did I?" Felt like punching him when he said that. It's like 'thanks for screwing my voice by putting me there in the 1st place'. I didn't expect alto part to screw my voice that much.
Miss singing and I can't stand being silent the whole day. Feel anti-social and shy. I need my throat back.
Anyone has any experience here or any idea in helping me get back in shape?
I've tried all possible things and it's just driving me crazy having to smell smoke everyday, getting a headache and feeling absolutely drained considering I have to stop 1 of my medication to avoid another problem and not able to sing.....

Retirement Village

Today the church had an outing to the retirement Village somewhere at lewisham. About 20 of us went. We reached the place and sang at 2 floors. I had to play the piano(I think it was the 1st time most the church members heard me play). We had our pastor play the violin and a kid on the recorder. It was really an experience. Made me go back in time. To the time where we used to ALWAYS go to orphanages and old folks home. I used to love it. Going to these places and making them feel happy. Used to go up to them and talk to them trying to be their friend. Loved planning Christmas visitations to orphanages and always looked forward to going to the old folks home.
Today? Some how I look at those people there and I seem to see death. I freeze at sight. Could hardly look at them at the eye or talk to them. I DID talk to some of them just now but not as I used to. Not to everyone of them. I felt pulled back and afraid. I've seen enough pain, death and sadness to bring me to this point. I hate the feeling and wish I could shake the feeling off but it seems almost impossible at this state.
Talked to some of them which made me smile and happy to know that they ARE happy with our company. Had a lady not wanting me to touch her koala doll, another telling me I had nice legs. That guys would definately like them if she noticed them(hmmm.. go figure), another told me they loved our company, another liking our performance(musicians) and a few cried being touched by the music.
*sigh*
I definately miss all these voluntary/ missionary work.
Today reminded me of how I used to enjoy sharing God with others. How innocently capable I used to be in cheering those people up. How much joy it brought me to see those happy, smiling faces that reaches out with those thankful looking eyes.