Skiing and heights

Was in melb last week for roughly a week. Kinda interesting, surprising, fun yet boring all at the same time. This trip confirms my thoughts about melb. I LOVE it. The ppl are all beautiful and the state is very well planned out. Transportation there is so much better then syd and shops there are great. Full of nic-nacs(which is totally my thing). The only crazy thing is the weather. There are like 4-6 seasons in a day in melb. 1 moment it can be hot and sunny and the next minute raining or hailing.
Was suppose to meet up with old frens but most of them disappeared. Went to the city. Met up with a few close frens. Bought a few necessary things, took pics(hard taking your own pics). And went skiing in Mount Buller.
The highlight of the trip was the skiing (=
It was great. I've always loved snow and those winter sports. I've done skiing before in Korea a few years ago. But that was just once. But I got quite a few comments from ppl thinking that I'm a good ski-er for a beginner. It was totally fun. Going up the mountain sitting on the lift and skiing down. After our 1st 2 hour class, we decided to go up higher the mountain. As you know I'm terrified of heights. I can't explain how scared I was the whole time being up there. But mind you, I still love skiing. After all the scare and being tense the whole time, I pulled q few muscles on the way down skiing. I had to push myself to keep skiing but in the end I gave up at the bottom half of the mountain. Had to get the guys to bring me down. Was in so much pain.
But all is well i suppose. I'm glad I went. Loved it so much it made my mind fly besides the fact of me being terrified of the heights part.
Bck in sydney and feel kinda weird. Feeling stressed and scared about the rest of the year. Feeling lost. It's like I'm losing myself again and yet I'm happy.... Weird feeling but it's like mixing sausage into your glass of milk and drinking it.
All I can say now is that I'm back to stress, tiring out myself, practice, uni(I hate my uni) and my music(it's going to be an interesting 6 months). Lots to do and lots to settle. But we'll just see how life goes this time round.....

1st tap dance

Not many people have ever seen me dance in my entire life. Not at parties, clubs, dinners or anywhere else. Although some may have seen me dance in the shadows or in ballet class or ballet performance. Lol. Reason why is coz I have two left feet. Ok, maybe not that bad but my mind and feet don't work together. And today proved it.
Have always wanted to dance but didn't have the courage. Me and friends laugh at ppl on the dance floor who don't have the sense of rhythm and all but what happens when it comes to me? I'm always aware of people around looking and judging me that my nerves don't work properly. I know the class is really late night and finishes really late and I don't know a single person there plus I have to walk through this really dark alley but I have gotten the courage to join tap dancing and today was the 1st class.
I LOVE it. It's totally fun and really good exercise. But by the end of the class, I felt like i was in the wrong class. I signed up for beginners class but today I felt like the teacher dumped the whole lot of information into 2 hours of lesson. I don't think I can remember half of the lesson. It's really hard to keep up with the rest. An old lady said more then half had joined the class since beginning of the year so I ain't that bad. I was behind the class and sometimes kinda hard to follow the teacher with ppl blocking me or the fast feet movement.
But I totally LOVE it. Am going to keep going...... All I need to do now is practice and research more on the dance step. Hope I can remember it.....

Piano Man

I'm not racist but there are ppl in these world in whom I totally despise. I'm not going to mention who but some of you do know that I hate being who I am. I love my friends and all no matter what status and race there are but sometimes ppl living in the olden ages and wannabes pissed me off. I'm just clarifying that.
Why all these? Today the piano tuner guy came over to tune my piano. He was suppose to come at 10am but that idiot came at past 1130am. He didn't speak a word of english(and to think he's in Australia working and living here). The moment he came in he smelt of smoke(he was smoking awhile ago) and there was no explanation or apologies for his lateness. He just went in straight into my room to tune(rude? yes. I'm not going to say further). Tuned my piano. I pointed out a few things and got my aunt to explain and translate. As most of you know I don't really speak mandarin unless necessary coz I can really get the sentence straight and correct. So the hard explanations i left it for my aunt but in the music terms it's hard to explain. Just got him to tune. He said I was too much and he was annoyed. Took him ages to tune and I was going out of my mind. It didn't sound that all perfect(not in pitch). Aunt left for work and I was a bit worried. I tested the piano and the sound somehow disturbed me. There were some notes which were out of pitch. I tried to explain to him but he kept saying that nothing is perfect and about horses and that he would know what he was doing coz he's been tuning for more then 20 years.

So what? I don't freaking care. A graduate could tune better and have a better ear then him. It took him ages just to tune 1 note. Even I would know the difference in sound. He got me in tears(wish I could control them tears). I didn't know what to do. He started complaining and scolding me. I couldn't say much with the mandarin I know. And I knew that he knows I'm young and defenseless. Felt like screaming and asking him to leave. Ended up ringing my friend(who's a perfect pitch). Even he could hear it. So got him to talk to the stupid fella. He did tune it back but the last octave sounds sharp. Called the shop to complain. Am now waiting for the boss' call.
After he left, I wiped my piano. It was freaking stinky. The guy was practically spitting on it. Felt like vomiting. After 30 min of wiping it, I went to the shops to chill. There, a lady tripped me and walked away. Wanted to develop pics but the lady was unfriendly and said my pendrive is lousy. Got a few men shove me at the road. And a friend on msn firing me about my personal msg and frustration.
Defenseless? Definately. Been feeling that way all my life and I hate it. I've been trembling since morning coz I felt like hurting somebody. I'm afraid I wouldn't act proper and attack.
I just wish it will all change and I'll feel safe again. I've felt soo very lost since I lost my grandma who'll protect me from sadness and pain and would shower me with love and hugs and the little things she does. I miss her so much I wish I wasn't so harsh and spoilt when she was still around. I wish I could talk to someone. I wish so many things but know that my future only lies at the hands of time.