Performance

Just came back frm performance.... Don't really feel nice about it.Actually i feel totally horrible.In times like these i wish i made someone to turn to,someone to look to,aomeone to talk to... But i suppose in my life it's a sad place...
Anyways about the whole performance,....
We started early and everything went sortta fine but the prob was we started the show too early and the electricity went off a couple of time so tat was sorta bad..But the choir did well i must say.The fact tat i was sharing a book with this gal who didn't have any of the pieces we were singin in it...Thank God mum made me memorize..... But then again i did foeget some of the lines... :P
My clarinet part was horrid...Played duet with sister.It seems i can never perform with other ppl coz they seem to be horrible deproving my standard making me look bad.... I'm serious.. It HAS happen many times but the thing is i'm scared going solo... Mayb i should face up with all my fears... *sigh*
Well the, my duet with sister went horrible. The person-in-charge misplaced our track so he drove all the way to our house to get the spare.But at that time my area had a black out at the same place and the spare CD was in the player.So there was NO way in getting tat CD... We ended up playing without the track at all... The thing is my sister didn't count properly making her entering and playing the wrong notes... Being me I normally get worried wen my partner makes mistakes which I admit i made A mistake.... Oh well... I felt pretty disappointed. OK ok... i was extremely disappointed... *sigh* I suppose i go through this all the time... Maybe i'm to go solo instead... I should face my fear.... I dunno.... I just feel horrid right now... But my bell playing on 1 of our opratic songs went well.....
Watever can i say right now.... I'm just wonderin wat tmr would bring to me....

HELL!!!

I invited my nephew to church today..He came...bla...bla...bla....nothing much til during service in church.He looked bored and i felt bad so i once in awhile 'layaned' him and talked to him not knowing tat soon it really got outta hand. During potluck he stuck to me like glue...My siblings all disappeared leaving him wif me...I kept bothering me and spitting at me and things like tat...I couldn't say anything much considerin i'm his aunty..I suppose he thinks i'm not old enough for him to listen to me...Well,some of u youths were around to know how much i actually suffer wif tis kiddo.... *sigh*....he didn't wanna go home.said he wanted to stay wif me during our activities in the afternoon..He messed around wif my note book and my hp...Tat really freaked me out considerin i really look after my things properly....
Anyways,soon he shut up behind the church waiting for me to finish up.After choir he asked if i was done.He finally wanted to go back and he looked bored so i rushed in my meetings with the teams we were starting in youth which are ACT, PMT and SIT. Rush here...Rush there.... wen finally i brought him home.He kept complaining saying i was just bullshitting about church bizz...He said i was jsut gossiping wif talking to my frens.Can u beat tat...Really....At home,I went online and he bothered me the whole time.I let him check his mail.He had2 mails frm his mum.He said i could read...He replied his mum saying how i kept bulying him and disturbing him...Can u beat tat...I didn't know wat else to say.I mean i was already boilin inside.Was suppose to be in church hanging out with the youth but ended up at home...
Anyways wen he was still bothering me i suddenly shouted out "DAD,...DAD!!" I was gonna ask my dad whether we wud visit grandma...to my suprice,my nephew jump off the comp chair and rushed into my room in fright.He was thinking i'd complain to my dad... LOL...So there...Now i knoe quite alot about tis kid...It was really funny seeing him run in but i didn't have anything to say... While calling dad...in my room,he was like "ok.ok...i won't bother u no more..."... it was really funny... I can't help myself.I know it's really mean and things esp mentionin it here but well most of u hav seen my situation so there......
Glad he's home now...Wonder if he 1s to come back again.

Vesper

Well then,... was in charge of last nights vesper...Was kinda in a mess actually...Most of the stuff was actually done last min.Even my little talk.... Slides were done by Jason and Clin while testimony by Pastor Francis.Song sevice and special music done by Elsie and lyn...i did quite alot of talkin which was quite shocking even for myself.Elvina did the back part of the programme.... Our topic was GOD WITH US. The slides were on happy moments and sad moments which were both on disasters and the youth n things like tat.... I actually wrote my little speech down an hour before vesper...Was kinda freaky considering it was like totally silence...There was no noise to be heard.Was kinda nervous and scared not forgetting nearly stoning,but by the grace of God it actually went quite smoothly in the end...Really can't imagine the situation....After that many of the adults actually congratulate me or rather say i did well...Or it could be just for the sake of saying to me to make me feel better...I actually had a feeling tat was it.Hmm... I guess i'll nvr actually knoe...I wonder how many of the youth actually listen to me tat night...Figuring out normally they would be talking or doing somethings else...hmmm...(wonder).
Vesper normally had around 10 ppl attending it but last night was like 3-4 times the normal attendance.Maybe it's coz they tot there was a special speaker tat night,maybe they wanted to c wat the youth wud b doin,maybe they wanted to see wat I'll be doin,maybe just supporting...I really have no idea....Well,at least there were quite a no of ppl there though the frens i invited din actually turn up.I suppose i'll share wat i wrote then we'll let u judge on it shall we...Those who missed fri vesper get the chance knowing wat actually happened.It really was a last min thing.But i'm glad it's over..I'm nvr going to do tat again....
Here it is....

Good evening and a happy sabbath to all...(no response)....ok...before we start tonights vesper i wud like everyone to get off their seats and wish everyone a happy sabbath..(stillness...no1 moved).....As i said...errr....lets get up....(only a handful of ppl moved off their seats)....*pause*
Well thenit's really great to see so many faces tonight....Lets get on with our programme....Well, many things has been happening in this world of ours....Flood,earth quake....*pause*...errr.....,plane crashes,diseases and most recently the tsunami....Some may say it's signs of the end of the world, others say it's Jesus 2nd coming which is coming real soon and others may just say "It just happens,...so wat..."..*pause*....so wat do u think about all these happenings?..... *pause*
All of these tragedy brings sadness to many ppl,taken lifes of many souls, crumble ppl's dreams.If there WERE a God,y make us suffer so much? Some may say "there's no point working, or studying, or buying land or even working hard for something.After all it IS almost the end of the world.Right?There's no point working soo hard wenin the end ur going to die or suffer anyway." So wen is our world ending?Soon? How soon is tat? Lets turn to Luke 21:25-26....(reads)
All these signs.All which r happening around us. MOre and more ppl are getting scared and start taking up a religion.Is this the way for us to be safe and enter the kingdom of God?By just embracing a religion and believing?
*pause*...*silence*
Christians maybe strong in faith and active in church.This is until something tragic happens then they would start back sliding and soon leave the church.Where is the faith?...*pause*....Where is God?How strong are our beliefs in him?How strong are our faith in him?In Proverbs3:5-6 it says...(reads out)
*pause*
When tragedy strikes,we question God and get mad with him or we seek him and plead for help but on the other hand,wen we r happy and safe,we put God aside and forget him....
errmmm....well, with all tat the best we could do is just look forward into the future and not holding on to our pass.But don't worry too much about tmr but let tmr worry about itself.The most we could do wen we r sad is to seek God.Talk to him about our problems or our daily activities the way we talk to a fren.I remember during the time i was in kl,considerin student life could be very stressful.Anyways,during my sad moments i had nobody around.My frens were either busy or they just wasn't there...At tat moment the only person i could seek was God....It really helps so we could try it(didn't knoe where tat sentance came frm)....
*pause*...
errrmmm.....There was this other moments when i was really in a horrible state esp wif studies and things like tat.There were time wen i just didn't feel like going to church or having anything to do wif God.Everytime i think of tat a church member would call me up to be the pianist for the next day.So tat gave me an excuse of goin to church all the time....*pause*....church members prayed,frens were supportive but i still felt horrible.Nothing worked....This went on until 1 sabbath without knowing,there was this Pastor frm the US who was just visiting there...He was doing a sermon...In his sermon,he said "Don't tell God how big ur problems are but rather tell ur problems how BIG our God is"..(laughs a lil)... Well tat really caught me thinking....and i suppose after tat i was ok...I mean,tat really moved me.
..*pause*...
Blaming and questioning God is wat most of us do at times but we should keep the faith and keep believing in God.... In Matt 24:42&44)....(reads)
We should continue to work our very best in our everyday work for we don't know wen Jesus 2nd coming would be. So be prepared and share the joy and happinest we have wif God to frens and work mates or anyone around you.
Now let us take a look at the relection of the year 2004 1 last time and...errmmm.....forget about it looking forward to the happenings tmr...
Thank you.
(walks off)...(lights off).....(slides start)....

Well,.....that was it....rather scary...The positive sight of my speech was being said right on the spot so it's kinda messy....Should have said a few more things but didn't think of it at tat time.Only said wat was on my mind at tat very moment... lol... well then,.....Last night was pretty scary considerin i'm a kinda person tats actually quite timid and normally get stage fright esp wen i'm doin something just by myself....
A few members said next step i should take up pastoring and preaching...FAT CHANCE... I'll nvr do tat.....Others says i speeck better then my dad...lol.... tat maybe i can agree but others i'm not so sure about tat...Don't really knoe whether anyone is actually saying the truth considering i nvr got any feedback frm the youth themselves....So I'm really not sure about tat....

busy bee...

Can't seem to get myself seated and start thinking of my future or compose a song or even do a little sketching.*sigh* Can't say anything about it...Since the new years my life has been practically practise,lessons,rehersals,driving,youth and thats about it.And the cycle goes on....Sometimes i just feel like going out and stuff but end up stuck at home.Sometimes because no1 is free,i'm too busy or watever...I normally have my days planned out a day before so if anyone invites me out on tat spot i'll normally say i can't make it....I've 2nd thought about kuching now...can't say i don't miss my frens back in kl as well....My beloved 'music gang' =D i just wonder how this year would be...
Oh ya...i don't think i've made my new year resolution and i don't think it's too late to still make 1....I'll list it down to 10....heheheh...
1. finishing up my music exams
2. getting distinctions on all 3 instruments
3. learning at least 1 new instrument
4. finish reading biography of composers
5. expanding the youth in church
6-10. *toot* *toot* -personal-

heheheh...well then... =P
Something else which i've done, can check out my webshot site....it's
http://community.webshots.com/user/mizzoflea

Gtg....got lotsa things to do.......

Youth Leader

*sigh*
1st time leading out a big group...I knoe it's really hard and things like tat but i suppose deep in side i wanna do something for God.... I suppose i wanna expand the church...I suppose my dream is just to big for a little gal like me...
Now sometimes i have 2nd thoughts... I don really knoe wat to do..Sometimes i feel like chickening out but i suppose i can't do tat.I've commited myself in helping out and tats wat i'm gonna do.I'm just hoping tat everything will go according to plan.
I've been getting help frm church members all over the world esp s'pore..Am really greatful wif them helping me out... Pretty scared in wat wud happen tis year....
Startin up the youth wif cell group 1st then later outings and social nites and vespers...But mostly i'll concerntrater more on cell group on tis 1st quarter...
I hope the response frm the youth wud b ok....
Can't think to far now rite....?!

New yEar StaRt

HAPPY NEW YEAR......
Well then,...it's never to late... =)
Was in China last year(man,it sounds long)...till yesterday.or rather the day before..
We were like suppose to be home 2 nites ago but then....Let me start frm the begining of wen it happened...
It was 2nd Jan 2005 =D
we were still in China waiting for our flight... tat time,4pm...yup.we waited.after flying 4 hours to Kota Kinabalu,we waited yet again.Met my violin teacher and a church member there.From there our flight was delayed considering our new set of air crew hasn't arrived yet.So there we waited.I think we waited an hour or so there.Wen finally we cud fly we took of to Kuching... I sorta slept in the plane waking up to find out tat we have landed at SIA(Singapore International Airport).I tot like this was a dream or my hearing had something wrong but i was rite.we were in Singapore right now rite then.It seems tat the plane ran outta fuel and Kuching was raining heavily tat night so we cudn't land... In the plane, everyone waited and waited for i think almost 2 hours in the plane.1st we waited for the plane to fill up.Then i dunno y but we waited some more.It seems tat the kapten didn't wanna fly any more.The kapten was trying to speak with the Singapore watever thingy to let us step foot on Singapore...bla...bla...bla.... Finally we cud leave the plane but we all didn't know wat to do anf where to go... So we waited AGAIN>>>.Some of us had passport so we cud leave the airport.Others hand ic's only so they stayed at the airport over night.After half of us retrived our baggage we waited for our bus to take us to our hotel... We waited for an hour or so... By then it was already 3+ am.By the time we reached the hotel and settled down in bed,it was like already 5am.By the time i cud sleep, *ring*...it was our wake up call..tat time was 6am....We left the hotel at 730am tat morning which was yesterday.they said our flight wud b at 9am.We did everything until all we had to do was wait for our flight.. We waited and waited while some were just buzy complaining about how the ppl there treated us.... in the end we flew at 1030 instead... After long waiting....I'm just glad I'm back home... I was really looking forward to go home...
My trip in China i didn't really enjoy considering i didn't wanna go in the 1st place... I was sick the whole trip.Had fever,flu(cold),coughin,headache,stomachache. You just name it.Until now at home, I'm still sick...
Oh well i suppose i gtg.. I promised myself to practice and tat I will do....